Parent of the Month
Meet Renee Williams
Renee W. is a Marketing Manager for Exceptional Parent Magazine, a Lead Project Expert at an engineering firm, an inventor, and the devoted mother of two loving boys. One of her sons has a diagnosis of ASD, and the other has ADHD and OHI.
When she isn’t studying autism and applied behavior analysis, Renee loves spending time with her family and friends. She is also an active member of her local church and a grateful participant in the Montclair Friday Group, which she describes as a tremendous blessing and resource.
Describe your daily schedule in five words
Busy, purposeful, educational, adventurous, noisy.
What’s your favorite family activity and why?
Watching a family movie. It is one of the few times we can do something together that we all enjoy.
Renee shares that their 7‑year‑old has made tremendous progress—moving from watching five‑minute short stories to sitting through a full two‑hour movie. Seeing both boys enjoy something together is meaningful, and the snuggles, popcorn, and shared downtime help everyone unwind from the day.
What’s your idea of a perfect day?
A perfect day is one in which I get all my schoolwork, family responsibilities, chores around the house done, and get a massage or do something fun alone. Additionally, it would be a day where my 7‑year‑old son communicates appropriately and doesn’t exhibit any self‑injurious or potentially hazardous behaviors. It would also be a day my other son is happy and feels loved.
What’s your favorite song?
This is a tough one! I think my favorite songs vary by mood. However, what keeps me filled up is listening to gospel music. I think my favorite song is “Silver & Gold” by Kirk Franklin. The gist of it is I’d rather have Jesus than silver & gold.
What is your guilty pleasure?
My guilty pleasure is watching The Kardashians. I love their outfits and hairstyles. I do find their fashion sense inspiring, though obviously they can get really scandalous with their clothing choices as well.
What is your most useful skill?
My most useful skill is understanding products and being able to explain them to others and/or sell them. I’m really grateful for this skill. I think the most important part is that I always want to do what is right for the customer and I put their needs first. I see every person I work for like they are a part of my family.
What is the most challenging part of having a child with a disability?
The most challenging part is not having all the answers. It feels like I am building my roadmap as I tread along the road. There have been so many things I didn’t know but I’ve learned only because of the pressing need to help my sons. It has felt very overwhelming at times because I feel uncertain of which direction to take or how to respond to their behaviors.
The way I’ve overcome this is by going back to school to learn about their disabilities, asking tons of questions of everyone I know that could help me, finding the Montclair Friday Group, which is such a place of support and encouragement, and through prayer.
What would you tell your former self when your children were diagnosed?
I would tell myself everything will be ok. Your children are a gift from God, and He wouldn’t give you anything He thought you couldn’t handle.
In one sentence, what’s your best parental advice?
Practice self‑care because, in doing so, you will be the best possible parent you can to your children.
What is the silver lining to having a child with a disability?
The silver lining is all the things I’ve learned about disability that I would not have known otherwise. I feel that I’ve grown as a person in ways that could only have happened by having a child with a disability.
Even though there are some challenges we face because of their disabilities, I see it as a most revelatory and special journey because my children are uniquely and wonderfully made. I am so grateful to love and to serve them and for everything they teach me just by being themselves.
If you would like to be featured in our Parent of the Month newsletter, please write to us at info@2momsnofluff.com.
Five Tips for Traveling with Kids with Disabilities
Dealing with Ear Pressure During Landing and Takeoff
Some people never suffer from ear pressure, but it can be a real cause of misery for some children (with or without disabilities). Be prepared, especially if this is your first time flying with your child.
Bring plenty of chewing gum (if your child is able to chew) and lollipops if gum or candies are a choking hazard. Even chewing and swallowing on a pacifier or a chew toy can have the same effect. Standing on the runway can sometimes take an hour. Make sure to only give your child the candy when the plane is actually running on the runway, so it is not all gone before you take off.
If you know your child is prone to severe earaches, you might want to use painkillers or eardrops ahead of time. Consult with your doctor if this is a real issue for your child. Finally, there are also earbuds that are meant to prevent ear pressure. We have used them before but cannot say they made a real difference for our child.
Traveling with Durable Medical Equipment
Make sure you mark every box or case with durable medical equipment that you ship as such, so you are not being charged extra fees for extra weight for those items. If you are traveling with a mobility device, like a gait-trainer or a wheelchair, make sure to disconnect any add-ons, such as straps, support cushions, trays, or handles. The items that can be easily unfastened from the device are likely to be lost by ground-crew rough handling your equipment.
Take a few pictures of your wheelchair or other pieces of equipment prior to shipping in case your equipment gets damaged. You will be more easily able to make a claim with the airline afterwards if you provide before and after pictures.
If you have extra parts and special tools for adjusting and replacing loose screws and realigning your equipment, make sure to bring them with you. Bring these small items in your carry-on luggage if allowed, or in your suitcase, so you are able to readjust parts that have shifted or been pushed out of alignment in transit.
Prepare Your Child Emotionally and Physically
While surprise vacations are very fun, I found it best to always prepare my kids in advance for trips, which helped them emotionally prepare and also created a lot of positive excitement for the upcoming adventure.
The ways in which we help our kids prepare for a new country, culture, or tourist destination include collecting books from the library about the specific place we are about to visit, watching travel channel and YouTube videos regarding tourist attractions at our destination, and allowing our kids to participate (to the best of their ability) in decision-making around attractions and schedules.
When jet lag is a part of your trip, you can help your kids physically prepare by slowly adjusting their bedtime and wake-up time. If your trip requires plenty of walking, start taking lots of hikes and walks to get your child into the habit of being outside and physically active ahead of time.
Packing
Using packing cubes is my favorite method for packing for a family. Packing cubes help separate each child’s wardrobe inside a suitcase, so all we need to do once we arrive is put the gray packing cubes in one drawer for my daughter, and the red ones in another for my son. In order to make morning routines easier, we pack ready-made sets that include anything from underwear, socks, clothes, and barrettes.
Each morning, we only need to retrieve one bundle and we are set for the day. In general, I try to be color smart when I’m packing, especially if I need to use random laundry services in inconvenient locations. It can be time-consuming or expensive when 90% of your items are dark to make a separate load for the three random white items. In addition, we always have an extra set of clothes for our children in our backpacks in case we have a spill or an accident during an outing away from our hotel.
Remember that usually while on trips you will tend to take many more pictures of your children. Dress them accordingly because those pictures will be your best souvenirs, loved for many years after.
Take a “Staycation” After Your Vacation
Going on vacation with your family, especially when you have a child with a disability, can be as far from restful as humanly possible. I suggest you block your calendar for three days after you arrive back home so you can physically and emotionally recuperate from the fatigue of traveling.
It is definitely worth making the effort to travel with your family, including your child with a disability (in most cases), but do not underestimate the physical and emotional toll such a trip can have on you. When dealing with jet lag and long-distance travel, you really do need the rest afterwards. If you have a two-week vacation from work, make sure your trip only takes 10 days, so you have the other few days to get settled back into your home-life routine.
You will probably have to deal with piles of laundry and help your kids get settled back into their original time zone and schedule. Some of our family’s best memories and fun times have been during travel, but I will never deny how physically and emotionally exhausting each and every one of those trips have been on both my husband and myself. Make sure that the days after you return home, you schedule as much respite or babysitting as you can afford. Trust me, you will need it.
Recipe of the Month
The Montclair Friday Group Spinach and Cheese Egg Strata
It’s time to think out of the box for breakfast, lunch, or brunch! Here’s a nice alternative to the delicious but predictable bagels and cream cheese. This recipe only requires prep the night before and is adapted from a magazine recipe I found years ago. It’s that easy.
Spinach and Cheese Egg Strata
(A strata is a casserole, but “casserole” sounds trashy whereas “strata” sounds elegant.)
Ingredients
- 1 (10‑oz) package frozen spinach, thawed and water squeezed out
- 1 1/2 cups finely chopped onion (1 large)
- 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 1/4 teaspoon freshly grated or ground nutmeg
- 8 cups cubed (1‑inch) French or Italian bread
- 2 cups coarsely grated Gruyère or Swiss (or cheddar, but the first two are best)
- 1 cup coarsely grated Parmigiano‑Reggiano
- 2 3/4 cups milk, heavy cream, or half‑and‑half (not skim milk)
- 9 large eggs
- 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
Steps
1. Prepare the spinach.
Squeeze handfuls of spinach to remove as much liquid as possible, then finely chop.
2. Cook the onions.
Cook onion in butter in a large heavy skillet over moderate heat, stirring, until soft, 4 to 5 minutes. Add 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon pepper, and 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Stir in spinach, then remove from heat.
3. Assemble the strata.
Spread one third of the bread cubes in a buttered 3‑quart gratin dish or other shallow ceramic baking dish. Top evenly with one third of the spinach mixture. Sprinkle with one third of each cheese. Repeat layering twice, ending with the cheeses.
4. Add the custard.
Whisk together milk, eggs, mustard, and the remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper in a large bowl. Pour evenly over the strata. Cover with plastic wrap and chill at least 8 hours so the bread absorbs the custard.
5. Bake.
Preheat oven to 350°F. Let the strata stand at room temperature for 30 minutes. Bake uncovered in the middle of the oven until puffed, golden brown, and cooked through, 45 to 55 minutes.
6. Rest and serve.
Let stand 15 minutes before serving. Your guests will love this.
Guest Resource Provider
Contributed by Ann Forstenzer
Ann Forstenzer is the mother of a 22-year-old with ADHD and Asperger’s. She divides her time between two passions: selling children’s books as a sales representative for independent publishers, and working as a travel agent with Magic Family Getaways. She is an authorized Disney travel planner, but books many other types of vacations as well.
Travel with a child who has extra challenges and/or a disability will always require additional time and planning. It is important to understand and be able to communicate their physical, cognitive, and dietary needs, and to include those needs when building your trip. Today, I simply want to let you know that you never need to feel isolated or alone—good support is just a keystroke away.
Airport Rehearsal Programs
If flying is a concern, several major airports now offer programs that allow families to sign their kids up for a practice run through the airport experience—from going through a metal detector to handing over a ticket at the gate. Newark Airport has an Autism Training Program for this purpose, as does JFK. (Search for “airports that offer autism rehearsal programs” to find a list.) These programs are helpful for anyone with anxiety about flying. You will need to set this up yourself, but it can be a lifesaver.
Cruise Buddy Programs
You can organize a buddy program on cruise ships (which may involve an additional fee) if you are anxious about traveling with your child or if your child requires constant observation and care. This can give you a break or allow you to attend to your other children.
AutismOnTheSeas.com is one organization that can arrange this service and/or recommend cruises geared specifically for people with disabilities.
Accessible Travel Accommodations
Accessible hotel rooms and accessible cabins on cruise ships are now mandatory enhancements, along with many other accommodations for a wide range of disabilities.
Magic Family Getaways
Every agent at Magic Family Getaways, the agency I work with in Montclair, NJ, is an authorized Disney travel planner. We try to make the booking process as painless as possible so you can enjoy a stress-free vacation. We book Disney theme parks, Disney cruises, National Geographic Expeditions, Adventures By Disney, and Aulani, their resort in Hawaii.
For Disability Services at Walt Disney World in Orlando, you can visit their website to learn how they can help accommodate your child with a disability. I can book your vacation package and make the necessary arrangements.
Other Travel Partners
We also work with many other wonderful companies that cater to families and groups, including:
- Universal Orlando
- Beaches All-Inclusive Resorts (which offers a certified Autism program)
- Club Med
- Tauck Tours
- Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines
- And many others
Most travel companies now have dedicated phone lines and websites that offer special needs assistance. Magic Family Getaways also offers curated, adult-only travel options if you want or need some well-deserved alone time.
Contact Information
Feel free to contact me directly at Ann@MagicFamilyGetaways.com or call 973-744-2835. Quotes are free, and I would be happy to help book your next fabulous vacation—with or without your kids.
If you or someone you know contributes to improving the lives of children with disabilities, we may be able to feature you in our newsletter. Please reach us at info@2momsnofluff.com.