Montclair Story Salon
We were honored to be invited by the Montclair Story Salon to contribute five storytellers from our 1in6 Support Friday Group, along with a musical performance by a mom raising a child with a disability. Proceeds from the event benefited both 1in6 Support and one of our valued community partners, Mission: Kid Success. The evening’s theme, “What I Wish You Knew,” spotlighted powerful stories about the realities of parenting children with disabilities. Here’s one moving story from one of our founders, Alma Schneider.
Hi Mom,
Never did I think I would be speaking to you in front of a room full of people 23 years, 8 months, and 6 days after you died, but here we are. As you can imagine, a lot has happened since that day in 2002. I’m going to share a few updates, in no particular order.
Do you remember how I left for the University of Wisconsin, sight unseen, with mismatched sheets from the closet, a towel from the bathroom, and a toothbrush?
Well, you would have been as horrified as I was to see how Brian bought my youngest, Asa, all new items for her freshman dorm room behind my back a few weeks ago from Amazon. Such waste!
I wish you were here so that I could properly apologize for the constant mess I made, leaving my clothes all over our apartment. My kids were disastrously messy and it caused me so much stress. I finally got why you were always yelling. Mea culpa.
Let’s see, what else… my hair is now fully grey, thanks to your modeling of accepting aging naturally and gracefully. It is VERY liberating, so thank you for that.
I wish you knew that because of your “breast is best” mantra, breastfeeding all seven of us, including twins. I breastfed all of my kids and even pumped breastmilk for a year to feed one of our children through a feeding tube. More on that kid later.
Hmmm, what else? Remember when one of the few times you took a cab, the driver was rude to you, so you didn’t give him a tip? He then called you a bitch, so you took down his cab number and brought him to court? You were such a badass and hated injustice. I’m proud to say I’ve followed in your footsteps and refuse to sit idly by, always speaking up when an injustice has been committed.
When you received the diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer five years prior, boy were you practical. You didn’t want all of your very hard-earned savings to be taken by the government, so you paid off all of our student loans, helped us with the down payment on the house you knew we planned to move into in Montclair, and got all your papers in order.
Dealing with the emotions of that cruel diagnosis at age 62 was another story. You never talked about your feelings, and you certainly weren’t going to start then. You were as stoic as you had always been, but I couldn’t bear not offering you the opportunity to express how you were feeling.
So, if you remember, I mustered up the courage to ask you what you were most sad about. Your answer has stayed with me all these years: you said you were most sad that you would not get to see your grandchildren grow up.
So here, in this church, I want to give you a few more updates, some things I wish you knew and could have experienced.
From your seven children, you now have a total of 15 grandchildren, four of whom are mine! What will blow your mind even more is that six of them are queer! Go figure!
I remember when you talked about how your favorite part of the Gay Pride parade was when the parents walked, supporting their gay children. You found their support so moving. What a loss that our kids didn’t get to have your progressive, accepting mentoring.
What is even more of a loss for our family is that you weren’t here to shepherd us through some very challenging times when our son Lincoln was born with a rare genetic disorder called Prader-Willi Syndrome. Along with difficulty regulating emotions, lack of impulse control, and an intellectual disability, he has an insatiable appetite and never feels full. We have to eliminate all access to food and monitor what he eats to keep him safe, as many people die from obesity or even from their stomach rupturing if allowed free access to food in one sitting.
With all of these challenges, however, he is a kid who loves meeting and talking with people, being in the mix, donating to cancer patients at St. Jude’s Hospital, and giving money to every unhoused person he sees. He has a great sense of humor and cracks us all up. Still, it can be so hard at times, but you would have been so good with him.
You would have been the absolute best person to help me with your ability to stay calm, persevere, and what I am certain would have been your relentless assistance in getting him the services he was and is entitled to.
What a loss for all of us, but mostly for him, not to have you in his life.
I wish you knew how wonderful your grandchildren have been in protecting his safety, standing up for him, and even managing a campaign for him to become president of his elementary school, where he promised to make sure that children with special needs wouldn’t get bullied. You’d be proud to know that he was a finalist.
I will continue sharing stories of your impact throughout my life, but for now, I will leave you with a lullaby I wrote for Ilah that became a lullaby for all of the kids. I know how much you loved to sing, so if you can hear me, wherever you are, maybe you can sing along.
Rocking For Inclusion
Rocking for Inclusion, a nonprofit that brings together individuals with intellectual and/or physical disabilities and their neurotypical peers through the universal language of music, performed at the annual Parents Who Rock backyard show. The event raised funds and awareness for a local program that provides grants to help families cover the cost of therapeutic and tutoring services for children with disabilities.
Rocking for Inclusion continues to inspire with its mission to unite individuals of all abilities through the transformative power of music. By creating inclusive bands that feature both neurodiverse and neurotypical performers, they showcase how talent and connection transcend barriers. Each performance is a celebration of courage, creativity, and community — reminding us that when we embrace differences, we all rise together. Learn more about their work and upcoming events at Rocking for Inclusion’s official website.
Jacquie Ruderman Yoga
Another Community Partner, Jacquie Ruderman, provided her monthly yoga class for the members of 1in6 Support. The evening class was free and allowed parents to relax, stretch and socialize.
Her inclusive and nurturing approach to yoga helps participants release tension and restore balance physically and emotionally. Whether you’re a seasoned yogi or just beginning your journey, Jacquie’s classes are a gentle invitation to breathe deeply and move with intention. Explore her philosophy and offerings at Jacquie Ruderman Yoga’s website.
1in6 Support Gala
Lastly, we’re gearing up with our incredible gala committee for the inaugural 1in6 Support Gala on November 14th. We’re thrilled by the generous silent auction donations and strong ticket sales, and we’re still actively seeking sponsorships and contributions to make this event truly unforgettable.
Our gala isn’t just a celebration — it’s a powerful opportunity to amplify our mission and deepen our impact. Every ticket purchased, every auction item donated, and every sponsorship pledged helps us expand vital programming for families raising children with disabilities. The energy and generosity surrounding this event reflect the heart of our community, and we can’t wait to share an evening filled with connection, inspiration, and purpose.
Recipe of the Month
Fairy Tale Eggplants with Capers & Anchovies
INGREDIENTS
- 1 quart fairy tale eggplants, halved lengthwise
- 1 small can anchovies, chopped (adjust to taste)
- 3 tablespoons capers (adjust to taste)
- Olive oil
- Balsamic vinegar
INSTRUCTIONS
Remove from the oven and serve hot.
Preheat your oven to broil.
Heat a cast iron or ovenproof skillet over medium heat.
Drizzle enough olive oil to coat the pan, then add the halved eggplants cut-side down.
Brown the eggplants until golden, then flip them. Drizzle lightly with balsamic vinegar and continue browning the other side.
Add the chopped anchovies (with their oil) and capers to the skillet. Stir gently to combine.
Transfer the skillet to the oven and broil for a few minutes until everything is sizzling and slightly crisped.
Remove from the oven and serve hot.
YUM!