Parent of the Month
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| Meet Renee Williams: Renee W. is a Marketing Manager for Exceptional Parent Magazine, a Lead Project Expert at an Engineering firm, an inventor and a mother of two loving boys. One boy has a diagnosis of ASD and another who has a diagnosis of ADHD and OHI. When she isn’t in school studying autism and applied behavior analysis, she loves spending time with her family and friends. She also enjoys being a member of her local church and being a part of the Montclair Friday Group, which is a tremendous blessing and resource. Describe your daily schedule in five words? Busy, purposeful, educational, adventurous, noisy. What’s your favorite family activity and why? Watching a family movie. It is one of the few times we can do something together we all enjoy. Our 7-year-old has difficulty sitting and comprehending and we have worked on him sitting to watch a movie over the past year, starting with short stories that are 5 minutes long to now a two-hour family movie. It is great to see him and his brother enjoying something together. It is also nice because we snuggle and eat popcorn and it really takes all of our minds off of anything else we had going on throughout the day. What’s your idea of a perfect day? A perfect day is one in which I get all my schoolwork, family responsibilities, chores around the house and get a massage or do something fun, alone. Additionally, it would be a day where my 7-year-old son communicates appropriately and doesn’t exhibit any self-injurious or potentially hazardous behaviors. It would also be a day my other son is happy and feels loved. |
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| What’s your favorite song? This is a tough one! I think my favorite songs vary by mood. However, what keeps me filled up is listening to gospel music. I think my favorite song is “Silver & Gold” by Kirk Franklin. The gist of it is I’d rather have Jesus than silver & gold. What is your guilty pleasure? My guilty pleasure is watching The Kardashians. I love their outfits and hairstyles. I do find their fashion sense inspiring, though obviously they can get really scandalous with their clothing choices as well. What is your most useful skill? My most useful skill is understanding products and being able to explain them to others and/or sell them. I’m really grateful for this skill. I think the most important part is that I always want to do what is right for the customer and I put their needs first. I see every person I work for like they are a part of my family. What is the most challenging part of having a child(ren) with a Disability? The most challenging part is not having all the answers. It feels like I am building my roadmap as I tread along the road. There have been so many things I didn’t know but I’ve learned only because of the pressing need to help my sons. It has felt very overwhelming at times because I feel uncertain of which direction to take or how to respond to their behaviors. The way I’ve overcome this is by going back to school to learn about their disabilities, asking tons of questions of everyone I know that could help me, finding the Montclair Friday Group, which is such a place of support and encouragement, and through prayer. What would you tell your former self when your child(ren) was diagnosed? I would tell myself everything will be ok. Your children are a gift from God, and he wouldn’t give you anything he thought you couldn’t handle. In one sentence, what’s your best parental advice? Practice self-care because, in doing so, you will be the best possible parent you can to your children. What is the silver lining to having a child(ren) with a disability? The silver lining is all the things I’ve learned about disability that I would not have known otherwise. I feel that I’ve grown as a person in ways that could only have happened by having a child with a disability. Even though there are some challenges we face because of their disabilities, I see it as a most revelatory and special journey because my children are uniquely and wonderfully made. I am so grateful to love and to serve them and for everything they teach me just by being themselves. If you would like to be featured in our newsletter Parent of the month, please write to us at info@2momsnofluff.com. |
Five Tips for Traveling with Kids with Disabilities
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| Dealing with Ear Pressure During Landing and Takeoff: Some people never suffer from ear pressure, but it can be a real cause of misery for some children (with or without disabilities). Be prepared, especially if this is your first time flying with your child. Bring plenty of chewing gum (if your child is able to chew) and lollipops if gum or candies are a choking hazard. Even chewing and swallowing on a pacifier or a chew toy can have the same effect. Standing on the runway can sometimes take an hour. Make sure to only give your child the candy when the plane is actually running on the runway, so it is not all gone before you take off. If you know your child is prone to severe earaches, you might want to use painkillers or eardrops ahead of time. Consult with your doctor if this is a real issue for your child. Finally, there are also earbuds that are meant to prevent ear pressure. We have used them before but cannot say they made a real difference for our child. Traveling with Durable Medical Equipment: Make sure you mark every box or case with durable medical equipment that you ship as such, so you are not being charged extra fees for extra weight for those items. If you are traveling with a mobility device, like a gait-trainer or a wheelchair, make sure to disconnect any add-ons, such as straps, support cushions, trays, or handles. The items that can be easily unfastened from the device are likely to be lost by ground-crew rough handling your equipment. Take a few pictures of your wheelchair or other pieces of equipment prior to shipping in case your equipment gets damaged. You will be more easily able to make a claim with the airline afterwards if you provide before and after pictures… If you have extra parts and special tools for adjusting and replacing loose screws and realigning your equipment, make sure to bring them with you. Bring these small items in your carry on luggage if allowed, or in your suitcase so you are able to readjust parts that have shifted or been pushed out of alignment in transit. |
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| Prepare your Child Emotionally and Physically: While surprise vacations are very fun, (been there, done that…). I found it best to always prepare my kids in advance for trips, which helped them emotionally prepare, but also created a lot of positive excitement for the upcoming adventure. The ways in which we help our kids prepare for a new country, culture or tourist destination, is by collecting books from the library about the specific place we are about to visit, watching travel channel and YouTube videos regarding tourist attractions at our destination and allowing our kids to participate (to the best of their ability) in decision making around attractions and schedules. When jet leg is a part of your trip, you can help your kids physically prepare by slowly adjusting their bedtime and wake up time. If your trip requires plenty of walking, start taking lots of hikes and walks to get your child into the habit of being outside and physically active ahead of time.Packing Using packing cubes is my favorite method for packing for a family. Packing cubes help separate each child’s wardrobe inside a suitcase, so all we need to do once we arrive is put the gray packing cubes in one drawer for my daughter, and the red ones in another for my son. In order to make morning routines easier, we pack ready-made sets that include anything from underwear, socks, clothes and barrettes. Each morning, we only need to retrieve one bundle and we are set for the day. In general, I try to be color smart when I’m packing, especially if I need to use random laundry services in inconvenient locations. It can be time consuming or expensive when 90% of your items are dark to make a separate load for the three random white items. In addition, we always have an extra set of clothes for our children in our backpacks in case we have a spill or an accident during an outing away from our hotel. Remember that usually while on trips you will tend to take many more pictures of your children. Dress them accordingly because those pictures will be your best souvenirs, loved for many years after. Take a “Staycation” After Your Vacation: Going on vacation with your family, especially when you have a child with a disability, can be as far from restful as humanly possible. I suggest you block your calendar for three days after you arrive back home so you can physically and emotionally recuperate from the fatigue of traveling. It is definitely worth making the effort to travel with your family, including your child with a disability (in most cases), but do not underestimate the physical and emotional toll such a trip can have on you. When dealing with jet leg and long-distance travel, you really do need the rest afterwards. If you have a two-week vacation from work, make sure your trip only takes 10 days, so you have the other few days to get settled back into your home-life routine. You will probably have to deal with piles of laundry and help your kids get settled back into their original time zone and schedule. Some of our family’s best memories and fun times have been during travel but I will never deny how physically and emotionally exhausting each and every one of those trips have been on both my husband and myself. Make sure that the days after you return home, you schedule as much respite or babysitting as you can afford. Trust me, you will need it… |
Recipe of the Month
THE MONTCLAIR FRIDAY GROUP SPINACH AND CHEESE EGG STRATA It’s time to think out of the box for breakfast, lunch or brunch! Here’s a nice alternative to the delicious but boring bagels and cream cheese that only requires work the night before that is adapted from some recipe I found in a magazine years ago, it’s that easy! Spinach and Cheese Egg Strata (a strata is a casserole but casserole sounds trashy whereas this sounds elegant):1 (10-oz) package frozen spinach, thawed and water squeezed out1 1/2 cups finely chopped onion (1 large)3 tablespoons unsalted butter1 teaspoon salt1/2 teaspoon black pepper1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg or already ground nutmeg8 cups cubed (1 inch) French or Italian bread2 cups coarsely grated Gruyère or Swiss (or cheddar but the first two are best)1 cup coarsely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano2 3/4 cups milk or heavy cream or half and half-NOT SKIM milk!9 large eggs2 tablespoons Dijon mustard Steps: Squeeze handfuls of spinach to remove as much liquid as possible, then finely chop. Cook onion in butter in a large heavy skillet over moderate heat, stirring, until soft, 4 to 5 minutes. Add 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon pepper, 1/4 tsp. nutmeg and cook, stirring, 1 minute. Stir in spinach, then remove from heat. Spread one third of bread cubes in a buttered 3-quart gratin dish or other shallow ceramic baking dish and top evenly with one third of spinach mixture. Sprinkle with one third of each cheese. Repeat layering twice (ending with cheeses). Whisk together milk, eggs, mustard, and remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper in a large bowl and pour evenly over strata. Chill strata, covered with plastic wrap, at least 8 hours (for bread to absorb custard). Preheat oven to 350°F. Let strata stand at room temperature 30 minutes. Bake strata, uncovered, in middle of oven until puffed, golden brown, and cooked through, 45 to 55 minutes. Let stand 15 minutes before serving. Your guests will LOVE this! |
Guest Resource Provider
| Contributed by Ann Forstenzer Ann Forstenzer is the mother of a 22-year-old with ADHD and Asperger’s. She divides her time between two passions: selling children’s books as a sales rep for independent publishers, and as a travel agent with Magic Family Getaways. She is an authorized Disney travel planner, but books plenty of other types of vacations as well.Travel with a child with extra challenges and/or a disability will always require additional time and planning. It will be important to understand and be able to communicate their physical, cognitive and dietary needs and to include those needs when building your trip. Today, I simply want to let you know that you need never feel isolated or alone, and that good support is just a computer key stroke away! Really! If flying is a concern, several major airports now offer programs that allow families to sign their kids up for a practice run through each airport experience — from getting through a metal detector to handing over a ticket at the gate. For example, Newark Airport has an Autism Training Program for this very purpose, as does JFK. (Plug in “airports that offer autism rehearsal programs” and you’ll find a list.) But really, these programs are for anyone with anxiety about flying. You will have to set this up yourself, but it can be a lifesaver. You can organize a buddy program on cruise ships (which may involve an additional fee) if you are anxious about traveling with your child or if your child requires constant observation and care, and you simply need a break or time to attend to your other children. Autismontheseas.com is one such organization that can arrange this service and/or recommend cruises geared specifically for people with disabilities. In addition to Autism, accessible hotel rooms and cabins on cruise ships are mandatory enhancements, as are many other accommodations for every sort of disability. Every agent at Magic Family Getaways, the agency I work with, based in Montclair, NJ, is an authorized Disney travel planner. We try to make the booking process as painless as possible, so that you can enjoy a stress-free vacation. We book their theme parks, Disney cruises, National Geographic Expeditions (which has recently joined the Disney family), Adventures By Disney, their all-inclusive arm for family travel abroad, and Aulani, their resort in Hawaii. For Disability Services at Walt Disney World in Orlando, you can visit this website here to learn how they can help accommodate your child with a disability. I can book your vacation package, and make the necessary arrangements. We work with many other wonderful companies that cater to families and groups. These include Universal Orlando, Beaches All-Inclusive Resorts (which offers its own certified Autism program), Club Med, Tauck Tours, Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines, and many, many others. Most travel companies these days have dedicated phone lines and websites that offer special needs assistance. Magic Family Getaways also offers more curated, adult-only travel options if you want and need some well-deserved alone time. Feel free to contact me directly: Ann@MagicFamilyGetaways.com or call me: 973-744-2835. Quotes are free and I’d be happy to help book your next fabulous vacation — with or without your kids! |
| If you or someone you know contributes to improving the lives of children with disabilities, we may be able to feature you (or them) in our newsletter. Please reach us at info@2momsnofluff.com. |