Question: My autistic 11 year old has a hard time with taking accountability for his actions. How are you all teaching your kiddos to do this?
My Answer: Although my son communicates well verbally and reads etc, visuals still make a strong impact and help a lot during learning. While discussing (calmly) a situation that he was involved in, with the goal of him learning, I write out a visual chart with the steps /connections (other people and/or things that bothered him and are involved in the situation). My son has reasons for his actions (including mistakes), but the visual helps him see the overall picture and HIS part of the situation…especially the choices HE made in the situation. (This is KEY for him accepting his accountability in the situation). My chart always includes branches with 1) actions he COULD have taken (usually the more appropriate one 
) as well as 2) the action he took. We also discuss what the result was (ie: did his action help him get further/get what he would want or did it end up getting him in trouble/hurt a relationship that could have negative results for him/or for him getting things that he wants in the future?). The visual chart helps our discussion and helps him see connections to these bigger-picture social concepts.
